Here are some  helpful tips on dealing with anger, as summarized from Alan Loy McGinnis’s book The Friendship Factor:

When you are angry…

1. Vent your anger
2. However, if you dish it out, you have to take it too. Be ready to accept the consequences of your actions
3. Never say, “Don’t be upset” to someone who is angry
4. Ventilate your ire with a trusted friend or write it in a letter, rather than confronting the irritant right away.
5. Get a physical outlet for aggression. Take up sports or go have a workout.

When somebody is mad at you…

1. Don’t panic.
2. Don’t stifle your own anger.
3. Don’t assign permanence to emotions. Feelings can change quicker than you know, and someone who is angry today may have already forgotten all about it in a couple of days.
4. You can love someone and be angry at the same time. It’s okay.

Here are 5 techniques to being angry without becoming destructive:

1. When you talk about it, focus on your feelings and not on the other person’s fault.
2. Stick to one topic. Don’t bring up ancient history.
3. Give your friend the chance to respond and explain his side.
4. Aim for ventilation, not conquest. The point is to be able to hear out each person’s side of the story, not to prove that one person is right and the other wrong.
5. Balance criticism with lots of affection.