Speak Dream

I haven’t been able to add a new post in two weeks. The past couple of weeks have passed like a blur. Our house got flooded last September 26 due to Typhoon Ondoy. The extent of the devastation caused by this typhoon, and the one after it (Pepeng), is such that almost everyone I’ve spoken with since then has either been directly affected, or knows somebody (friend or relative) who was affected too. Much has been written about the typhoons and their devastating effects in the news and on the internet. I thought I would share my family’s Typhoon Ondoy story here as well.

The Flood

Sep 26 (Saturday). 
09:30AM  

My family (mom, sister, and myself) were at home. The day had started quite rainy, but the rain just kept   pouring down non-stop. We were glad we were all together at home and thinking how nice it would be to take a long nap with the cool weather. Unknown to us, it had already started to flood in our subdivision. It was already so bad that it was impossible for cars to get in and out of our village.

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I remember reading somewhere, I think it must be from Andrew’s book entitled ”Being Happy”, that once you decide to pursue a goal, the universe will conspire to test your commitment and resolve. I call these ”roadbumps”.  For instance, on the week you decide to go on a healthy diet, you find yourself invited to several birthday parties in a row where there’s lots of cake and ice cream. Or you decide to sleep early, and your friends out of the blue, call you up and invite you to a night out…  or you find out that movie you’ve been wanting to see for the longest time, is being shown on HBO that same night.

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I’m a person who loves to make lists. It might be as sign of my slightly obsessive compulsive (OC) nature  or a reflection of my short memory span, but I have been making and keeping lists for every aspect of my life, as far back as I can remember.

I have lists for mundane, practical things, like grocery shopping lists, weekly list of errands, lists of things to pack/bring on out of town trips, and more recently, a wedding planning list. At work I keep a continously running list of things I need to accomplish for each day, ranked by priority, and adjusted as priorities shift and change. I actually have a  record of all my daily work activities dating back to January 1999. I think I make these lists to lessen the stress of having to remember things. It’s so much easier to write them down and refer to them every so often, rather than have to worry about forgetting important details. At work it also helps me to put some structure into my day, and allows me to clearly define the goals I need to accomplish. It helps reduce my stress level and gets me back on track when I sometimes feel lost. As shallow as it may seem, I love checking off the items on my lists. It gives me a sense of progress and accomplishment

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So the main reason I haven’t been actively posting any articles for the past 3 months is because I’ve been under a lot of stress lately. I consider myself no stranger to work-related stress. I’ve always thought of myself as someone who can handle stress quite well, but the past few months have caused me to seriously re-evaluate my previous self-assessment. I have honestly never felt so down and frustrated in my entire life. Even now I’m still in the process of dealing with my stress and trying to overcome it, so I can make the most out of my life.

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Although I don’t focus on the negative aspects of other people, but sometimes I do notice the negative behaviors. I try to check them against my own life, and trying to improve my own attitude and behavior.

I found out that when we live our lives with higher self-esteem, we can automatically avoid a lot of the following negative behaviors.

Inability to trust
Compares self to others
Gossiping
Inability to take criticism
Scarcity mentality
Defensiveness
Avoidance of rejection
Avoidance of potential failure
Resentment of others
Tendency to tear others down
Aggressive behavior
Procrastination
Concern with who is right
Inability to accept compliments
Unwillingness to take risks
Quick to the offense

Hope everyone can live a more positive life.

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